Words of Wisdom from My Late Grandmother

My paternal grandmother, Sylvia Gardner, was a firecracker – my father tells me a story of when he was young and the family went to Washington D.C. for a vacation. It was my dad and grandmother who ran up the steps to the top of the Washington monument, while my grandfather and aunt waited for them at the bottom. My grandmother was tough and loving at the same time. She was progressive for her time, as she got a college degree from Brooklyn College, was the captain of her college fencing team (pre-Title 9), and in her older years, she swam for exercise nearly every day (30 laps). She passed in 2008 at the age of 91.

In what seems like my life’s work to de-clutter, I went through boxes of letters, and came across a few of them from my grandmother. This particular one is from my first year of college, and I had just moved out of my room because my two roommates were, as my grandmother would say, complete “Bozos.”

This letter captures her essence, from her advice and language, down to her insomnia. What an amazing woman!

Oct. 28, 1993

Dearest Laura,

It’s 4:15 a.m. and I just seem so wide awake that sleep won’t come. I used to be a great sleeper, but in the last number of years I seem to have taken after my Mom, who used to say that she should have been a novelist, who could have written any number of stories while waiting for Morpheus to take over.

I was lying in bed thinking about you, (you must have guessed that I love you dearly) and so happy that you’ve settled into college life after that unfortunate beginning with those two bitches, and that you’re enjoying your courses.

My mind was drifting, and I was thinking about David Letterman’s famous ten listings of whatever, when I thought of my very own “ten” going from ten to one.

I leaped (truly) out of bed and wrote them down before I’d forget them.

For what they’re worth, I’m sending them on to you. All kidding aside, these precepts have seen me through many a rough time, and I’m one who knows that growing up is hard to do.

I’m only sorry that it took me until I was a grown woman to know that #7 was true.

Keep enjoying college and all it offers.

Very much love,
Grandma Sylvia

P.S. Grandpa would also send his love, only he’s fast asleep, as any self-respecting Grandpa would be at this hour.

#10 – Nobody is perfect, including yourself.

#9 – Persistence, persistence.

#8 – Cut your pattern to fit the cloth.

#7 – You’re better than you think you are.

#6 – If you think you’re right, don’t back down.

#5 – Disagree, but don’t be disagreeable.

#4 – Cliche #1 – If life gives you a lemon – make lemonade.

#3 – Enjoy each day for all its goodness. i.e. have a positive outlook.

#2 – Be strong – physically, emotionally.

#1 – There is no free lunch! Be prepared! Know how to swim, drive, type (circa 1940’s belief) still holds true.